Game of Thrones: The Musical: Comedic Script Samples

Hey, kids! Vocabulary lesson: What do you get when you spell B-A-S-T-A-R-D? That spells “bastard”! A bastard is a person born of parents not married to each other. The term also refers to an unpleasant or despicable person. In Game of Thrones, Joffrey’s a royal, Grade A Bastard, even though everyone who says it gets their head chopped off.

Now remember kids – the best way to remember a word is to use it in a sentence. Why don’t you show your parents the sentence you’ve thought up to use this exciting new word!


Game of Thrones is also the latest in children’s educational entertainment!

Hey, kids! What do you get when you spell B-U-N-S? That spells buns! Buns come in all shapes and sizes! You’ve got the round ones and the long ones and the brown ones and the steamed ones and the crazy ones when you eat ‘em and when you meet ‘em! Buns are great!

Some people have different expectations of other people depending on what kind of buns they have and what kind of buns they like, but they’re all good. The biggest determinant of how your buns look is your parents’ DNA, so don’t judge someone on account of the amount of junk in their trunk!


This is all very interesting and everything, but could you please just get off the stage and turn off your voiceover microphone so that I can finish my monologue in peace? I burn a child to death in Act II – let me enjoy my non-villain moment while I can!

Cultivating drama that burns and music that sates.